What is it like to have a stutter?

For more than a year, Yashpal Boorgula has not been able to say his name. Not even his preferred shortened version, ‘Yash.’

“I don’t know why it has happened. But even when I go to Starbucks and they ask for my name, it’s easier for me to spell out Y-A-S-H than to actually say my name. And when you can’t say your own name that mentally affects you.”

Yash has had a stutter since childhood. But his recent inability to say his name is having an adverse impact on his mental health. “When it happens, it stays with me for my whole day. I feel less confident and avoid communicating with people I don’t know. It is very isolating.”

What is stuttering?

Stuttering – also called stammering – is a speaking disorder with many different patterns of disrupting speech. It can be characterized by a repetition of sounds, syllables or words (e.g., saying “mu-mu-mu-music”); a prolongation of sounds (e.g., saying “mmmmmmusic”); or interruptions in speech, known as “blocks,” where a word gets stuck or does not come out at all. People who stutter may also develop movement habits that appear when they stutter, such as unusual blinking, grimacing or clenching fists.

In the U.S., it is believed that about 3 million adults, or 1 percent of population, stutter. For most of these people, everyday situations like talking on the phone, dating, job interviews or ordering in a restaurant – basically anything requiring speech – can become an ordeal.

As with many people with a stutter, Yash says for him it is more likely to occur – or be more severe – when he is tired, stressed or there is time pressure. Speaking to audiences or becoming emotional are also triggers. Yash says he cannot speak when he’s irritated and so is unable to ever have an argument.

Yash can often tell when he’s likely to stutter. “My body temperature rises,” he says. “My ears and face start burning, and my heart races.” When this happens, Yash’s go-to coping mechanism is to smoke a cigarette – a habit that he would like to kick.

But Yash is keen to stress that the physical impact of stuttering is only one aspect of the condition. “Stuttering is so much more than what comes out of our mouth,” he says. “The repetitions and blocks only last moments. The underlying embarrassment, anxiety and fear can greatly impact our self-esteem and worldview.”

The stutter stigma

As well as the embarrassment and anxiety that Yash describes, some people even feel the need to apologize for their stutter, as if they are a burden to the listener. Others will become extremely self-conscious and avoid socializing, leading to loneliness and isolation. Or worse, develop a sense of self-loathing. It’s no wonder that people who stutter are more likely to have mental health conditions such as anxiety or depression.

One of the main reasons for these negative feelings is the stigma attached to stuttering, says Christopher Constantino, assistant professor of communication sciences and disorders at Florida State University in his recent TEDx Talk. “Children are teased and bullied,” Constantino says. “Adults are denied jobs or fired from jobs or moved into non-speaking roles. People who stutter are seen as less intelligent, less attractive and less capable than their fluent peers, even though stuttering has no correlation with any of these.”

Yash has experienced this stigma throughout his life. Growing up in Hyderabad, India, he was often mocked and faced discrimination due to his stutter. Yash’s situation was made worse as he also suffers with dyslexia. Yash cannot distinguish between left and right and has difficulty spelling words.

During our interview, as Yash recalls his traumatic childhood, it’s clear to see that his stutter and dyslexia has left him with some mental scars. “People thought I was stupid, lazy or dumb,” remembers Yash. “I wondered if I’d ever be able to make it in this world because of my stutter.”

But make it he did. Because of his stutter and dyslexia, Yash has developed an incredibly high level of resilience. He says he feels blessed that he has managed to turn his communication challenges – and the cruel comments he has endured during his life – into something positive.

Stuttering in the workplace

Yash moved to the U.S. at 21 to study for a master’s in information technology at Roosevelt University in Chicago, where he lives today. He then worked at two different blue chip consultancy firms before joining Zurich North America as a contractor in 2018, then as a full-time employee in 2020.

But his difficulties continued in the U.S. where Yash discovered most job adverts asked for “clear communication” and that discrimination can surface in the workplace. Research shows that people with a stutter have worse job prospects and lower earnings.

Yash says his experience at the consultancy firms had a negative impact on his confidence. Working with Wall Street clients, he found that most people did not have the time nor the patience to allow him to express himself. Yash also became an easy scapegoat whenever there was an issue with work.

“People value people who speak fluently, whether or not you do your job,” Yash says. “Colleagues and bosses would say, ‘He can’t speak, so he won’t be able to lead meetings or handle clients. I’ve had times when I’m in a meeting where I know what I need to say, I know the vocabulary, but I just cannot pronounce those words. To some people I may seem unprepared, out of touch with the problem or just not interested. They don’t understand that I cannot articulate myself.”

Yash has had a better experience at Zurich North America. While he still struggles with his stutter, he enjoys his role as a business analyst, helping underwriters to issue insurance policies.

“I have some good friends at work, and I love working with my clients,” Yash says. “I love solving problems, and I have fantastic people skills.”

That should come as no surprise. Surveys and studies show that people who stutter often have significantly higher levels of empathy, patience and listening intelligence, and are more understanding of other’s shortcomings and differences.

A clear communicator

Interestingly, throughout our conversation, Yash did not stutter much. His communication was perfectly clear. This is unusual, says Yash, as he normally stutters more when speaking to new people. “I feel I’m in a very safe space with you,” he says. “Perhaps it’s because I’m talking about myself, which rarely happens. Nobody comes up to me and says, ‘How do you feel about your stutter?’ or ‘What can I do to help?’”

That’s the lesson for us all. One way to help people overcome a stutter is to speak to them. And you may find the experience enriching. “Stuttering adds to our speech,” Constantino writes in his blog. “Much of human communication is routine and automatic. People speak without actually saying anything. Stuttering shatters this ritual. The irregular rhythms of our speech allow for open and honest communication unburdened by meaningless, stereotyped phrases. Our stuttering introduces novelty and excitement into conversations making them instantly more interesting and memorable for our speaking partners.” I couldn’t agree more.

So how you should approach and speak to someone with a stutter? “Use good judgement and react and listen just as you would to any speaker,” Yash says. “Be patient, respectful and maintain eye contact. When you look away, the person who stutters may feel uncomfortable and awkward and make the stuttering moment worse or longer. If you don’t understand something we have said, ask us to repeat it.

“But the best thing that you can do is to give me some of your time.”